Thoughts of a 'Man'

A pair of mice fell into a bucket of cream and with nothing to hold onto, they struggled but could not get out. The first of the mice soon gave up and drowned. The second mouse kept struggling, churned the cream into butter and crawled its way out.

I am that second mouse!

something i rmbered from the movie.....must have been at least a year since i last saw it...but that story made so much sense...........

today was one of the rarer moments that i've actually given up....well, i guess i'm going to make use of what little i have to some use.............

always i would pull myself out of bed....albeit reluctantly, i would take sometime for myself to warm up then open that door, step out of the house and start something new...........................each and every single day.........despite our minds nature to deceive us, making us feel as if that each and every day of our lives feels the same, that tomorrow would be no different from two days before the day after tomorrow, that its merely a blind routine.............it isn't..............

we must constantly use our two hands to shape the events of the present.....if it feels the same as any other day, its because we are allowing it to happen..................................

i don't wanna go into all these mind baffling bullshit....i constantly tell myself that these ideas in my head are my minds defensive mechanisms to enrich, interest, simulate itself when i'm not allowing the environments, surroundings and everything beyond my control to simulate it instead.......



BLOGGING IS MENTAL MASTURBATION...........NOW GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time for some real intercourse..........i'm getting out of the house..............trim my hair, take a stroll, chat up some strangers, get a coffee, come back...............watch some videos, get ready for tmr instead(today is down the drain)....and sleep early tonight..................its back to work tmr!(how pathetic and hard i'm trying to hype myself up)

"Singapore is a little piece of heaven on earth." We all soooooo like to think........

hardly a microcosmic microcosm i say..................

On the night of the flight, all i thought to myself was....."finally being unleashed to the ocean after years of being in a fish bowl."

i was excited, finally a trip alone, away from "loved ones close ones"(which i'm more than familiar with, part of my contempt with life).............. i didn't WANT anybody to send me off at the airport...maybe i hated the formalities...but really, i knew this is it, gotta get use to this. its the first step, how i want my life to be......maybe its VBS, maybe it was that encounter on the MRT with that angmoh, simmered in after watching the beach and a french film called C.R.A.Z.Y or maybe it was there all along....its not that i can't stand it here.......it just isn't enough....

Life is too simple here, there is nothing to expect, no choices to make, nothing look for, nothing to hope for, nothing to disappoint....................

That night, i thought i would be slaughtered by great white sharks.......





Well, the truth is, it isnt as bad as it is, how the media puts it.......in fact, i was met with

Friendly Dolphins and Super Whales




A bottle of mineral water costs(converted to SGD) $0.90, coca cola $0.80, and smirnoff vodka of the same quantity $1.10

Cigarettes in boxes with ugly disgusting images costs >$10.70 . Cigarettes in boxes that says "Smoking Kills" or nothing at all costs $1.70(boxes of ten $17).................now we know how much it costs to hunt down those specimens of festering lungs with adobe photoshop...

its not about the....unhealthy indulgence(choice of bad words)......its about choosing for ourselves....liberty and freedom...............

Out of 10 girls, 1 is ugly...........well, you rarely chance upon one..........down here, ppl have the same expensive prom hair all year round...various styles and stereotypes there are appreciated not murdered............................everyones happy friendly and beautiful...not narcisstic like singaporeans that strut around pouting their lips.........

its very clean there, though there are no dustbins....one will grow to love the big messy bustling streets..............peace seeks you in the weirdest of places..........ppl cover their mouths with masks if they're ill...and they all keep to the right on escalators in one long extended line.........something krist noveselic would be proud of....................................both new and old are embraced.................................

its getting nowhere..............i'm just depressed that i'm back...........................

let the song show you just how i've felt for the past weeks........

opened up my eyes...found myself something to do..found a dream worth fighting for....something to fill the hole

away from sad old repressed singapore....heaven, safe and comfortable.............hell truly turns me on................