Thoughts of a 'Man'

life is simply what we make of it.....the past days had been so simple....i wish it was like this forever...(or do i?)....anyway...its best to stay like this till o lvls are over....its like hibernation mode,or the period where i'm stuck in a cacoon...(not a bad thing)...growing...anyway....have to decide if i want to to go to a jc not.....not that i don't want to go to jc...but whether i want jc for the first 3 months.....i don't want to...but well i'll decide when the time comes...lol

oh...so things have gotten from boring to something more....anyway, found something that i could probably live for...skateboarding!!...not seriously la...but i just can't stop thinking about it...and my parents nowadays are just itching to open their mouths to attack me wherenever i slip...thus i have to balance that minute part of my life properly....or it could lead to some snowball effect with my entire life!!!!

anyway....and my prelim results are coming out...i know its not going to get me anywhere, but i'm still really excited..lol...and well this new adventure game that i've been talking about...well i've never played it before...but its something 'sweet'!......

A new adventure game...with a lot at stake... a new adventure game...with a lot at stake...i will be prepared right at the start so as not to be left lost... just realised that there has been an unsuccessful trial game once..guessed i screwed it....i screwed another yesterday....but still its only the beggining......its like the prettiest virgin...its untouched territory.....its like the prettiest virgin...its untouched territory....lol....

skateboard...crazy parents....studies....adventure game.....this is so very 'fun-filled'..

was thinking of going for a jog....but nah....i decided not to...as much as i want to 'cease the day'.....another part of me just want to slack.....at breakfast....ate some mooncake thingy...don't know if i can call it moon cake...it has the lotus seed paste, the salted egg yoke...but itslike flaky...and no its not the fried mooncake one....but its the size of the 'o' which you form with your index finger and the thumb.......(don't think you can get it.).....then i used mozzerella cheese with bread....and toasted it...hmm...*licks upper lips...* added tobasco sause...wah.....shan't say its really really great...but its better than jam, peanutbutter, or nutella...

finished breakfast...it started raining....phew....luckily i didn't went to run, or i'll be wet...but well...just happy that i did decide not to run....and when the rain came...i was more than glad...coz i like rain...lol...and in mornings like these, like today....so peaceful and serene....simple...


i thanked god...though, i rather not live this life....its plain..

was also thinking, if anyone tried explaining 'jealousy' to a baby, it'll not understand..(do i use 'it'?) its obvious...because children are innocent....though i'm not a baby...i guess if anyone tried explaining 'jealousy', i would not understand..lol...i do not feel that its part of love....ah whatever..

in life, ppl pass by....

anyway...shall stop here...tons to go on...but want to save every min i have today i guess...

haven't heard akfg for some time now...feels great to be home...also...been leaving unhealtily for some time now...so shall start being healthy again!....omg...'clean and green' project here i come...

oh i guess i'll be staying at home tmr.....have two songs to finish learning by this weekend....'rosier' and 'weekend'...both are mid to high lvl for me....not sure if i can manage the solo..zzz.....have to start saving money too....for the treat this weekend....and i still have practical to study...........

words don't come out right for me today...so shall not say much...anyway, my mood is back to normal again...because sc took my mind away and talked about the band..lol...hearing 'screams' just puts a smile across my face..

btw friend, i tried your advice....but so unlucky..today everyone was depressed....and well when that happens....you try yourbest to cheer them up but it does not work...so it caught onto me...but luckily,(read above..)

anyway..to everyone out there....always look at the bigger picture...if you see anything you want just go ahead and grab it....if you don't get it....doesn't matter....for everything else, it was worth a shot...shall say that i didn't exactly coummunicated well with ppl today...sure some ppl found me irritating..but to some others well it was gold...

shall stop here....life's too short to spend on hoping and planning...

well, just go ahead and scream....if you're reading this, SCREAM for me......zzzz jk...

btw...epiphany means...finally realising something impt...like finally seeing something in a new perspective sort of thing....so my prev blog isn't anything thats sad...sorry if you felt that way..hmm

wow...yacht club...nice place...every time i've been there....it kinds of make my day...don't know why...today we didnt really do anything much....just play pool, lots of pool...at slacking....i guess i was the only one there that enjoyed it...everyone was just feeling norm...but i guess happiness these days seem to be on my side...

whatever it is...i guess it would be wasted if i waste this good mood on continuing here....so ciao..

Music really makes my day....the past 5 days at least, i've been studying a great deal iguess..more than ever i've been in my life, because i started my last min study 1 day before and am quite proud of it..lol.and so it would not have been possible without music, as it kept me seated...well and studying, if you want to, you could, isn't something very hard in the first place..

its like honey with bee hive i guess...can't think of anything else...glued to the honey(music), you wouldn't want to leave even if the beehive(books.) was there...

also going home everyday for the past 3 days only, i feel like a loner and i guess i am a loner now..lol...and music helped make that possible too...made everything bearable i guess..lol...

and at times when you have nothing to do, you can just feel high and 'flow' with it...my vocabulary just sucks more and more.....it feels like bein an electron, attracted to the nucleus and along with the electron cloud, just swirl around the nucleus....hehe...would feel great if we lived a life of an electron...we'll never die(law of conservation)...we move from place...and i just realised....eh..be a valence electron...if not you'll be stuck in ze stupid shell...forever..i guess...(hmm...not sure...i reality, all electrons are free...not sure if the octet structure is just a formula to understand stability..) i'll stop with this chemistry thing....its really lame...

and about the band.........................................................(go band blog.... click 'My Band!' on the right..)

sometimes life just takes it all away.... i can't bloody study today, and had been staring at blank space all day...(well, look at prev entry).....all the crap that gets in your way just because you care for somebody...

hope that person feels happy doing this...at least someone gets something out of this.. i won't put it against you..

the fourth time something like that happens....and right before a stupid exam...

i thought maybe writing it here can relieve me.....i guess.....going to bath now, and continue study...

_--- ---_

who silenced this pathetic little thing..
sometimes this 'mood' of mine turns ppl away...or well, most of the time, always...

well...why is it that when we try to get across something, ppl always don't get the full picture, shrink what you say or just don't get it...if only there was a world where everybody understood each other...right now i don't know if this is the world, or just the enviroment i'm in....to even begin with, i'm in a less-than-understanding enviroment..

well, i can hardly believe that such a thing actually existed....all this ppl seems so isolated from everything else....then i see more and more of such ppl from elsewhere and begin to think that i was the one isolated before, isolated in sophistication...(not that much 'sophistication', just an analogy..).....

we've discovered fun a long time ago, some are just beggining to taste it...ahh....the good old times....(i feel so old)..at least i still have my friends..friends i know will last thru the ages...because we've tested time already...

things changing all the time, i don't know where i stand anymore...

saying all this, it happen to remind me of the movie, 'the beach'.....where ppl actually want to isolate themselves...the idea is great, where we can have fun everyday...sometimes i feel that its possible to approach that ideal...but seriously its just scary....esp the part that showed how badly they tried to keep their dying 'fun' there, but things come and go..have to accept that...(i cannot understand the whole daffy thing in the show..)

anyway...time to study..haven't touched it....sigh...time to go...

its funny how things turn out the way they are...nothing anybody can do anything about...and i guess i just have to run away from it all...

Don't speak like this...its scaring me....if it does not feel right, its wrong...dont, before its too late..no evil prevails...we end up losing more than we thought we've acheived...

anyway, ah....feels like i've forgotten how it feels to be comfortable...i need a slack today....or at least for half a day before i refuel....kind of enjoying being alone and having nothing to do for today....was planning of one whole week of nothingness, which would also help me pay attentinon to my studies....

*yawn*.........i'm going to sleep i guess, or at least lie in bed...hope time would just standstill........zzZzzZzzzzz....

sigh....nightmares for 2 days...due to unnecessary worries...

anyway, i misplaced my waterbottle...and it happened to mean something to me..

...sigh...hopefully it is still there, or some kind soul brought it to the general office(which is highly unlikely..)

why do i always lose what ppl give me...argh....about 4 years ago, lost my wallet which my sis bought me for my birthday...and happen to get it back months later....which is of very slim chance...both are birthday presents, and both presents from ppl with the same birthdays..

so ................sigh.............................................