Thoughts of a 'Man'

i have lot of stuff running thru my head............................they're not really of any importance.....but they're a part or really big part of my life...coz they are so trivial.....trivial knowledge and details.....like the chemistry and the physics and the mathematics that i study in school.....

Some blogs are really thought-provoking..... some that i have read today.....but compared to mine, mine is like full of crap.......

something weird that i've been feeling these days..or myabe yeah, since before the exams, i've lost all sense of how to pioritize....

and music...just listening to it...makes me 'boil'(interpret anyway you like)...........

i wanna say something about lyrics..........song lyrics,....lyrics, they are really intricate and complicated.........together with the music.....the wires in your brain arent connecting....like i'm not making sense..........

some like "Oh there ain't no love no, Montagues and Capulets"......lyrics from i look good on the dance floor.........something adapted from romeo & juliet....how do you interpret this, interpret what the artist meant exactly?.....even if you got the meaning behind this, that 'true meaning' is crap...frivolous thoughts intertwined...............
What i mean is...no love, when there is no conflict?.....or no love and no conflict?............what?...when you get the real meaning behind the statement....let say the meaning to it...was the former, what is the meaning to that then.....?.....love-hate relationship?......................confusingly confused by confusion..........

another thing on the menu.....youtube, idle crap, or social welfare?

Art is from Life......Art is crap, good crap....Life is crap, fucked up crap.......Both crap.........


kkk...maybe you guys think i blog for the sake of blogging....haha....i think i am...so do all we....sharing some idle crappy thoughts.....and it really is whats going on behind our heads...99.99999999999999999999999999345786239846129837195692384 % of the time......the other 0.00000000000000000000000000655......(i tried calculating the numbers...).....i got the correct zeros.....using the INSERT function on your key board...........but i gave up the other numbers.......i will one day find a way to get those numbers...............)......you spend on getting your lungs to work?....

i have lot of stuff running thru my head............................they're not really of any importance.....but they're a part or really big part of my life...coz they are so trivial.....trivial knowledge and details.....like the chemistry and the physics and the mathematics that i study in school.....

Some blogs are really thought-provoking..... some that i have read today.....but compared to mine, mine is like full of crap.......

something weird that i've been feeling these days..or myabe yeah, since before the exams, i've lost all sense of how to pioritize....

and music...just listening to it...makes me 'boil'(interpret anyway you like)...........

i wanna say something about lyrics..........song lyrics,....lyrics, they are really intricate and complicated.........together with the music.....the wires in your brain arent connecting....like i'm not making sense..........

some like "Oh there ain't no love no, Montagues and Capulets"......lyrics from i look good on the dance floor.........something adapted from romeo & juliet....how do you interpret this, interpret what the artist meant exactly?.....even if you got the meaning behind this, that 'true meaning' is crap...frivolous thoughts intertwined...............
What i mean is...no love, when there is no conflict?.....or no love and no conflict?............what?...when you get the real meaning behind the statement....let say the meaning to it...was the former, what is the meaning to that then.....?.....love-hate relationship?......................confusingly confused by confusion..........

another thing on the menu.....youtube, idle crap, or social welfare?

Art is from Life......Art is crap, good crap....Life is crap, fucked up crap.......Both crap.........


kkk...maybe you guys think i blog for the sake of blogging....haha....i think i am...so do all we....sharing some idle crappy thoughts.....and it really is whats going on behind our heads...99.99999999999999999999999999345786239846129837195692384 % of the time......the other 0.00000000000000000000000000655......(i tried calculating the numbers.......i got the correct zeros.....using the INSERT function on your key board......copy the number of 9s, hit insert, and replace it with zeroes.....but i gave up the other numbers.......i will one day find a way to get those numbers...............)......you spend on getting your lungs to work?....

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Another thing into my head...and i just had to write it down here in case i forgot...

Chases.....you have catching(as in play catching,freeze and melt)......you have bike chases......car chases..... hot air balloon chases......plane chases.....rocket space shuttle chases...........spaceship chases....warpspeed chases.................

they evolutionise as society, technology evolutionise.............

look at human relationships.....Caveman wham Cavewoman with club, then have sex....Nakedman offers Nakedwomen some wild boar he hunted, then have sex.............................................................-------------Transition in time---------->.................... Gentleman writes Lady poem, have sex,.......sing song under window,climb thru window, have sex.......presently, its super complicated...........!!!! and its getting more and more complicated !!!.............

WHAT THE FUCK?!......................something offending to start this entry...lol...............was listening to Norman Cook...A.K.A FATBOYSLIM................going wtf, wtf wtf...in Star 69........probably the only sort of very popularized but non sell-out techno music that i ever listen to, and its not beng...so its okay.....my interpretation of that song is probably that its talking about posers again...once again...so many songs talk about posers all the time....a statement by both the unrecognised and sucessful.......i have shared plentiful times, so i shall not talk about peeps like this again....for now...

(can't find the right words)
sigh...its all destiny...or is it....take myself for example....i'm invisible.....

watched a part of A Beautiful Mind......John Nash does not go to any of the classes as he was under scholarship in Princeton........this professor told him, he will not get a place, in 'Wheeler's labs.'.....i guess its some career......then the professor was showing him some senior professor in the college/university...(which is it?..i'm confused)....everyone was congratulating him.........the professor asked him what John saw.......To him, it was 'recognition'...............the professor replied... 'accomplishment'..........

kk....i back to dwelving myself in movies again...and i had watched great movies this week....i know i may not seem like that bombastic, valedictorian, what you call it..........but i watched a lot of movies since a young age...as in really tons.....to know what i'm watching...ok....so i watched the korean Brotherhood.....this is the best best best war movie i ever watched......I really really underestimated, what the koreans were capable of.....its probably better than all the american war movies...even better than saving private ryan.......

i can't write well, but i'll try...

Brotherhood, has enough gore....but the special thing that seperates this from the rest..is that a whole lot of themes were introduced......its more than just sad...and ppl dying....as those who have studied comb history(i wish there was more in my frkkin pathetic school, i hate my sec school so much.....really hate it.....not the teachers, not the people...but just hate it..)....you'll know that.....North korea(NK)......south korea(SK).....NK attacked suddenly and went into Seoul i guess....the capital?......then SK fought back.....together with UN, US......then china came in...blah blah....the border went up and down...in the end....it didn't change at all from before the war......38th parallel...

the themes, besides the obvious brotherly love.......THE IDEALOGY........haha...portrays the ironies of human beings and their idealogies.....the sadistic side of humans,and just how confused lot humans are...and what it leads to......never saw another movie talked bout war like that....

Then i watched Valetine, on Arts Central....last night 9pm....(sunday).....i saw the advert two weeks ago i guess.....and stored a reminder on my phone...so glad i was at home..........alright...Valetine, is basically a optimistic boy, with a pathetic life.....but he made it work.....and turned into something he liked.....wah...great....great ideas also....

mr koh, phy teacher, told us that we should do everything we watnted to do before the exams this week...so i'm gonna....

gonna read up the books that i've been waiting to read, literally my whole life......

then, gotta start thinking of the band again.....SC came up with a preposition of the countdown thingy we've been talking about for last year and this year.....i'm not sure if we're ready....or more about whether if i'm ready...i suck....but....we gave up on many opportunities that were present to us.....i do not regret that much, because playing to a public isn't going to change anything....................................................................................................................................................................................................

many things going thru my mind as always.....i'm a person with many things to do, but never got about to doing them....i'm never fail to be this loser, and always fail to leave this persona............

my PW, i gotta do something about it?...i feel its not good enough...but i'm neither working nor getting thru to the team....and its something i feel strongly about...and all i present to ppl, is all talk....

my band......i really wanna play the songs that i like, ever since day 1..but hardly get to.maybe only Haruka Kanata and I am One?...but i am of no capability in the first place to bargain....so i'm really fine with what they want....sometimes i enjoy it....

well sometimes my perspective of music and arts is really not appreciated, i guess.....but i don't assume to have the right mindset on it sometimes.....i'm really naive and ignorant to this aspect, Art, but i do believe this is what life is about....

Hockey, i'm doing it for the team, don't wanna dissappoint...

I've never been best in anything that i do....maybe not the worst, but never the best, nor even good....you probably hear ppl say this many times bout themselves, i happen to be one of the rare few, good for nothing.........

and i know i'm ignorant....i guess, knowing and admiting ignorance is a step away from it.....


LIFE IS DEAD.................bored....have to start using my own two hands, and what 'God' has given me.....What, i don't know what.............I don't know what is what.........but i don't strut.....

this are just somethings i was afraid to say....but since ppl seldom wander here....i feel safe.......or not..........................................................................................

(can't express.....one day i'll go mediatate under the bohdi tree....or do yoga..or something.........)

something inside me is screaming LET ME OUT......i'm waiting..............not that its gonna make a difference....................................

didn't really intend to blog about today, though it was pretty eventful and to some extent special.....not really......haha this karma thing can really influnce part of how one thinks, for e.g me...i don't really believe in it.....but now, it crosses my mind a lot...and it kind of reminds you to constantly do good, even when you know you stand to gain nothing.....

anyway, really had quite a bad time this morning and into most parts of the day, well it started since yesterday night anyway......woke up today about 10 mins later then usual......felt like i didn't want to go to school.....slept quite late last nite too....sian.....and i had a hard time finding andpacking my stuff for school and all....was going to be late...and things are not going my way.....

well, i wasn't late...i pushed myself...to rush to school in the end....ran a lot

realised today was the official last day for the j2 when i got to school....oh damn....its just that, everything seems to be ending, and to me, it seems that school is going to be less interesting....

school sucked......everything sucked.....well, except the farewell celebration/assembly/thingy? which was quite entertaining....ah....got to hear My Way by Frank sinatra again.....such a classic....even though the teacher didn't sang it well enough, it still sounded very good....since it was such a great song.....from what i heard from shelly low during history lessons when i was sec 4, something like it was written about the cold war....which makes it even cooler....got to to search it up agian...something about stalin liking that song and all.....the following performances were even better......

after the farewell thing, got back to crappy reality, wandering about....To chance, thank you once again....it was worth all negativity, negative cosmic energies, resonance whatever..lol...glad that i did not miss school.....

somehow, ended up in the santuary, with 2 of my friends.......and i fell asleep....for sometime, before going to shoot some cue ball....play pool......to eat the time away.....

then met up with the team, and do the stupid hockey photoshoot...haha...the girl team was doing something really stupid...........its really stupid..........hahahahahaha......they were doing the desperado, trying to bring out all the energy they have....trying to explode from the inside or something.....ok i was just exxagerating....but the person planning the shots, were like making them appear aggressive and all, forcing them to shout cheer.......

we guys decided we ddin't need any of that......................................................................................................................................................................................
and only ended up doing something which is of greater stu-pi-di-ty......................doing incline pull ups and the shots from an angle.....we did this for quite a long time....doing many shots....doing the incline pull ups....five of us, taken from an angle....so forms we all form a diagonal line in the picture..one after another....in the pulled up position.....can't get the picture?...its really stupid....hahah.....but quite funny at the same time...........it reminded me of how all communistic propaganda looked like...haha...maybe they were seeing the red of our jerseys.......what they decided to use in the end i think, was a picture, that was.....no comments whether it will turn out good or bad....but reather weird too.....we were in standing in weird positions.....like were having an album picture taken, or , another piece of communist propaganda...

whatever.................we had training.....i figured my hockey skills still really sucked..................have to train more...till late about 7 plus...in the evening....

went to have dinner after that....today's training, along with the whole day, was rather different and unique to me....

went home after that...and then here..................................

i have to leave home early in the morning tmr.....do pw in the morning at westmall macs......then probably have lunch with family in the afternoon.....farewell to grandmother, going back to perth.......then in the evening...probably going to see watch the hockey matches.....after that i guess i'll find some friends to hang out with till the turn? of dawn....all these, with not much enthusiasm................

To chance, and who knows what will happen tommrrow..........

karma?

just finished studying superpositions....i guess i understood about 95% of it...i guess i can safely say that..but i haven't done any tutorials....haven't revised the other chapters also...i'm gonna die...wahahaha.....tmr is the last day of the examinations....but now..i still have to polish it enough....if not i might not even pass...

maybe or maybe not i was stressed the past few days....but i slack more than i studied....i'm really begging and hoping that i am just lucky to pass my examinations...

i hope i have time to pursue my interests... when the examinations end....and well hopefully catch up with friends.....just a few more hours until it all ends.....about 15 hours more.......life is not going turn and increase positively exponentially........................but at least its coming to a turning point...........

well...i don't know what else i have to say......................