Thoughts of a 'Man'

my life rhymes with nice....hehe..felt how lucky i am today to be living this....look thru some of the photos from fri's party from amanda's blog....hmmm..well, even though the party wasn't at any extremes, it was still fun, i still hope the party could last forever...lol...must get those pics soon..maybe i'll upload some here...my blog is so blank...being with the guys of 6c just brought back old times eh......wild and surviving class of 6c....basketball volleyball soccer and swimming with laughter imbedded in every situation...well, the girls..hmm...comparing them with the pictures of them while they were pri 6.....they are much much more good looking and prettier now...maybe it was the make up and clothes now, maybe it was the sucky uniforms then that made so much a difference...or simply because they just 'blossomed'..lol...eeeeeeeeeeeeee....feel so gross saying this...well, the time spent was in my perspective very necessary....

anyway...just right after looking at the good times.....another set of good times played on my computer..(my media play is set to shuffle..)...well it was times of passion and fun...omg....the jamming sessions....the tracks sounds so good without my guitar.....well..my guitar wasn't exactly hearable....so i give them a 9.9 over 10.....lol....well, not sure how it'll sound to others, but....to me, its enough to give me that sense of pride and satisfaction.....pro guitar and drums....the bass player, could do everything that was required, and the bass was stable enough...well,...my guitar was really sucky, how to say ah......not very smooth...though everything we played were covers, it was good....can't describe with the words circulating my head today....i can't strings proper sentences today..don't know why..you just have to hear it for yourself...well i have to start finding an avenue to share these with others...

i'll go blog in my band's......well, about the future of the band again..lol...

after conversing with a few friends after a small last min gathering of a few good friends....i feel like china or the soviet union...BACKWARD...backward in the sense that, they're occupied and fufilled or achieving it in life...well me...i'm just rotting on my seats....i need a great leap forward...
also, i took a solo walk again today....its my sort of meditation....and some things that just motivated me...and kept me from thinking....i've yet to make a minor decision...well two minor decisions...including which event i should go to this fri..... talked to another old friend, had inclined me a few degree towards going one of them..but still unsure..hmm...but its small anyway..well, another thing that has been helpful these days, were the conversations...after a brief pondering, realised that conversations are really hard to come by....rare opportunities...in short...lazy to write..life has taken a 180 degree turn...just when i thought i dread the present, and every next day...i'm finally beggining to feel great abt the tommrrows..."amazing grace...how sweet the sound..."... -_-"...lol..

life has been slow paced for 4 yrs....the surroundings allow me so, so its not exactly helpful...well....hope to change it from now on!!....FAST AND FURIOUS!!!!!.......

*HIGH-ENERGY DRUM SOLO*

well....Why control you life? Just live life and let life bring you places...in nicer nicer terms...some words i saw that matched, "Time spent by yourself right now will be more enjoyable than rushing around trying to show your face in all the 'right' places. Let love come and find you, rather than the other way around." lol....guess where i took that from...

ARGHH!...this is troublesome and suffocating.......... i shall not let myself walk this way again...i at the edge again...so..i don't know to take the plunge or just walk a way...its a lose lose situation..lol...

ok..i 'll try to unmask my words and try to make as less complicated as much simple as possible...

seriously, i have no available ways to take my mind off things....can't keep myself busy enough to help me walk away o_O ..... for me that is....i'm so bored stucked at home.....

I'm BOILING inside...