Thoughts of a 'Man'

everything comes with hardwork.....was watching some live concert videos....and was wondering if i ever get to be as good...then i realised that all the ppl that went up there had probably gave everything to be up there.....

as the chinese saying goes...'tai shang yi fen zhong, tai xia shi nian gong'(i think its something like that)....means on stage for a min, while not on stage to practise 10 yrs..............

what i must do if i want to achieve what i want.......i'll have to look up to these ppl, and constantly remind myself of where i want to be.................anywhere in life....

If life wasn't so full of shit, it wouldn't be life................And if this isn't another shitty post, then it wouldn't be me................................................... Sigh so irritated with my freak parents...........impudency.....They haven't realised how they've failed as parents..........everything i do, and i think my brother and sister was out of our own decisions and beliefs..........never a hint of their stupid influence...........and they never realised that, they just keep whining, nagging...................... My father was complaining about me watching some anime when i was just about to sleep in the never-fail-to-be-confrontational way.........saying that i don't know my piorities......how can he reason me with his instinct of simply to confront me and piss me off.............i still have school tmr, and i'm going to lose at least 10 mins of sleep, while i rush to calm myself off and write everything here as well.....

my mom too...........while i was watching 2 doctumentaries one on nat geo and discovery, about some security companies in iraq, and the columbine incident..............my mom just blared out at me for no reason, saying that she always have to let me have my way.....i let her time and time again, and the last time i watched tv was last wed when my parents wern't even home.......................they are always complaining to me why the computer is spoiling and all...........and i'll just restrain from asking them to buy a new one simply because they are so selfish to part with money, i don't want it to bother them...............a few times i wanted to complain over here, but i avoided simply because this would reflect badly on me........but hell...this is only the tip of their...insolence........

I was just screaming at them with tons of ways i could suceed in life and that by doing so, i didn't do it because they told me too, but because i wanted to.....................so its so irritating for them to just open their mouth......no i don't want their support, i don't want any of their attention, don't want their love.......i know its selfish and all.......like how we don't finish our food, when ppl in africa have got nothing to eat....like how i don't appreciate my parents, when others have none........but every situation is different i guess....................and well, its not just me, it seems to happen to most of the ppl around me....so many ppl rude to their parents...........

all the times i've succeeded in anything, and if i were to succeed in future, have and will always be based upon how much i hate them, and how i may allow myself to leave in future.........never because they asked me to.................so many news on the papers about parents suing rich sons and daughters for not taking care of them..............a plea for sympathy by these parents....sometimes i think that its these parents fault..........why would they leave and hate you in the first place........how did they become rich if they hated and never relied on you, thus they don't owe you...............why would you sue your own son over money...........wtf......thus your resolve is that money is 'thicker' than blood.............

sigh................i guess i still have to let them have their way since they have a shorter time.....and i never want to stoop anywhere close to their level....................

i came up with some good parenting techniques.....have to go recall...and write it somewhere.....so i'll remember................

I am so immature... This made me so uneasy about the world and about my life. I just realised why the people that appears the happiest always happen to be the ones who are having the most problems, in actual fact being the most depressed...I guess they appreciate every single blessing and grasp at every chance to be happy, which is every moment and second of their lives. Maybe its because they don't understand happiness and think behaving so is being happy. Or they could have seen it all, that the only solution is to be contended...if not anger, sadness, or fear would destroy the person........ 'Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering' - Master YODA..

i hope the world of tomorrow will be a better place........and everyone is happy.......from the inside
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everytime i see something, someone, somewhere....i learn about its beauty...and thus get inquisitive....then delve deeper and discover all about the problems....... i wonder if its the same for everyone else....its almost certain this happens....but what happens after the problems?....i have not past it yet, but it should be something great...'enlightenment', so to speak....

i wish from now on to perservere to the end with every encounter, to reap the lesson or the reward.