Thoughts of a 'Man'

i was thinking of deleting this blog right here right now.....

i'm kinda feeling self-destructive now....for who knows what reason...i guess the music playing on my computer now is not resonating according to how i'm feeling right now.........

anyway, let this be a test then..........

I SHALL DELETE THIS BLOG ON the last day of this year.....marking the end of this pathetic existence...............

"Self-improvement is masturbation. Now, self-destruction …"


Can i bear to wipe away 4 years worth of memory. the pain, the tears, the fufillments, the struggling gasps, the wails of triumph............................

if i could, i would have probably already pressed that button.....

as much as i hate myself, could i bear to let myself go.........clingy emotional attachments................

if only there was one way to bury this deep somewhere so i will never see it again, but still know its out there.............i do not wish to carry this habit with me till i grow old........

WHAT I REALLY NEED NOW, is PICK UP THE GUITAR, PICK UP THE GIRLS..................

if deleting this hurts.........let it be a lesson to me.......let it be so i will not repeat the last 20 years over the next 20.................

i can't help it but be so negative....and i can't prevent others from seeing this side