Thoughts of a 'Man'

i dont know how to begin this...i can't really think on a straight mind.............i'm really tired....

it all started over the idea of overprotection......it was my means of getting out of that neverending threat by avoiding the snake that never existed...

shall not go into the twaddle of things........

i tried something different today, and i'm happy for that...no regrets..........though i've failed, it was a learning point, a realisation that i'm still at the bottom of society.....

these are attempts of survival in the real world.....

i tried to be professional by running all the shit that i can think off(though i know not of many)....and none of them hit.........NONE of them hit....

5 things that i need to force upon myself..............

in front of those ppl, i was ignorant...but i wasn't self-conscious, enlightened by the fact that i will never ever see them again in my lifetime.........

i knew my failure, i knew it was all fake...but in the end i gave in, stop racking my brains and all and chose the easy way.........it was beyond me at that point, unable to navigate each levels properly...

giving up wasn't easy........giving up was definitely a hard slap on the face........it was like choosing fast food macdonalds over fine-dining.....accepting simulated responses over intention.............

whats most important today, was my failure, emphasising the need to learn and practice and work harder....i made a promise, i swore to a stranger today that i will become a different person that no one will recognise..........she was indifferent about it, saying that it wouldn't happen.........

i'm not about to give up like she did..................

i made a promise, i swore to a stranger today that i will become a different person that no one will recognise......................