Thoughts of a 'Man'

its weird, cos i've been seeing 'magic' and phenomenas happen before my eyes....and i can no longer deny that its impossible.....................

finally some material to write on after a freaking long dry spell...........

its weird how everything we do has a social reason behind it..........and i've come to realised a little too late that social skills matter in whatever we do.......*lost in transition*

oh my..its been a long time and i've been finding it hard to express myself.....

lets just get down to the specifics shall we?

it felt like "two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl..." i failed terribly today......i managed to disarm a few obstacles and opened some doors within myself.......however it also seemed that i've failed to disarm some obstacles that piled up.....its important that i reflect on what i did, an AR so to speak...

first, i was crappy...and realised that i was so inexperienced and inept that i was finding it tough to crack an egg...............there can be no mistakes, and it wasn't smooth....simply, you had to precise even when it comes to the simplest of operations...

i'll break it down in timeline order, so it'll be easier to recall the events that happened.........then at random....

before i approached, i visualised all the formations possible....first, the ones that were unfavourable....the one that made him the pro...the one that would have ruined my game from the start.........if he were to flank....it would be favourable if he made a direct confrontation.........what most guys would do which serves only to intimidate.........however after realising the possibility of an additional character, the possibility of favourable conditions were on the decline......here comes the weird thing, either by sheer coincidence or the thought-to-be 'fail-safe' approach that ppl use to both get a comfortable hold and the perceived advantage of direct contact, both characters adopted the same ideal and gave me what i had looked forward to....i got the flank, but soon my glee will be shortlived.........

this is where i lacked...........early into it...obstacles begin to appear.....i realised that, being in the center of it all is necessary to be in control.....when the limelight shifted here and there, frequencies up and down....all i could do was to hide(not out of fear) someplace else till it was clear again.....its hard not to be able to sail in the right direction....leaving the sails to the winds was foulplay..........in fact thats what i did all the time, when obstacles were around...i just did not know how to solve them...........when i was sidelined, when i realised i felt i was pulled around instead of being untouchable..........being untouchable is not something to be done all times but only at the right times...i guess i resorted to it too much.............instead of finding a solution at the point of time........

my leverage started to show, clearly, everyone has their insecurities...it can be told by their actions, words, behaviour, the flitting of eyes.....every action every act is inseperable from the emotions in their minds....even celebrities have them, feeling as if the whole world is watching thier everymove..........

hmmm...signals which i still have doubts with...........these signals which i do have doubts with whether they were of coincidence.............but ask any expert, and they'll say that the doubts were a result of self-conciousness...and the obvious may be true.....the unconcious....the kinesthesia meant that a bridge was set....the high spirits, even through the uneventful(which entirely is my fault) hours....flitting sights, speedy mouthfuls of blabber that spewed, inappropriate laughters that weren't at the junctions...............imagine reckless driving without care for the presence of roads.............the conscious...... formations taken, the enemy's appreciation of situation(AOS) that led to the switching of formations after a hesitation?

ahh........and the stepping stones which i failed to realise and take...............

i failed miserably.............but still attempts were made, thus i guess i was on the right track?....................

failed to be in control.........bad closing...nuff said.........

profile............. it actually exists.............,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,......................

i just need more knowledge and practise.............