Thoughts of a 'Man'

stepping out of your comfort zone..................i've literally been stepping into discomfort..........i guess its worth it....who knows what i'll become in a few months time.............

self initiating challenges..............

i'm sorry but i feel its quite necessary to abandon online correspondence with the world...........
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its hard i tell you.............it takes a lot of will to do what i'm trying to do..........doing all these things that you've never ever paid attention to.....all these bad habits that you're trying to quit........have you ever tried to quit smoking?....at least now i can even imagine how hard it is..........

its hard for Mao to pull reforms over his country..........its hard for ppl in Eastern Europe to get back up on their feet after the fall of USSR..........its hard to start taking responsibility when you've been told what to do, and doing whats necessary the whole time................

it takes more than a flick of a switch in your head, takes more than a mid-life crisis, more than the support of all the people in your life put together to power, fuel, drudge that change...and theres no way others can help, cos there is just no way for them to lighten the load.......you're an exploding man, they cannot explode for you.........it takes strong will

E=mc^2

that freaking immense expansive load of energy required to produce that minute negligible grain of sand....imagine bringing that change into your life.....you'll need 999999(x99) nuclear reactors........

for 18 years......working hard to me, was merely studying hard for my tests and exams...wrestling with my books........i never in my entire 18 years gave up few months of my time to dedicate and commit myself entirely to study.............such was my weak-willed brain.........getting the grades i've got again and again, though never once i've been satisfied, entitles me to a 'phew...thank God.' ................

my guitar skills suck, my hockey skills suck.......never putting myself through the tough grilling..

and now...............for the first time of my life..........i urgently urgently needed to change..........this urgency, never reminded me of my Alvls..........its the project of the lifetime.................

my mind has been out in the field since sunday......about 6-7 days.......it hasn't taken a breather.......i've been returning home to sleep each day because i need to start off again the next day......................................................................................

i'm leaving the house once more....