Thoughts of a 'Man'

gonna leave for school to collect my a lvl results soon....like everybody else, i'm expecting straight As....but i'm wondering why i slacked off so much during jc...what made me do it......that in itself is a mystery.............i'm guessing i'll get Bs and Cs this time...but Ds and Es probably...if another miracle were to happen again now............i'll blow up, explode...............................

i feel like a thick stack of printing paper..............life is empty besides the army..........just too tired to talk about the ppl in army....but the world just won't be as merry as we all want it to be.......i observe and saw, and i got to see just how the world can be blind most of the time to what really is essential.........being in a world where everything is a simulation, (can't really express properly).....plastic......where we will call a chatline to speak to a sweet voice and convince ourselves that the person at the other end of the line will be pretty.....where sex fetishes come in shapes and sizes....but they are all hypocritic........follow the lyrics of 'Californication' and you get what i mean.......not that we don't know its fake, its just that we are so desperate for it, we accept it , convince ourselves of its authenticity.......

not sure if i mentioned it before......'Actions speaks louder than words'.....something i don't believe.....actions these days are so easily displayed for the purpose of impressing or convincing.......i guess reading behind the lines of the words that ppl say would better unveil intentions.......ppl don't mask their words....most tend to just whine when they have frustrations and not take it out on someone...they may treat you nice, but you can sometimes sense their frustration from their words, something i just cannot prevent when i'm around my parents......its just that they hold back their actions more than they do to their words......i said before how ppl may behaves the opposite just so that it hides their weaknesses.....yeah thats it......the world is blind....we are Judge Dreads....we are so bad in judging character....

sigh...A lvls.......will have to retake another time i guess.............