Thoughts of a 'Man'

ah.....genius....flawless...as soon as i heard about what jh said....immediately..........i knew................. i can't think of words to use right now, can't form sentences.....i'm really tired......

it may seem stupid to everyone......but i knew its this mix of unreal with real, bringing fantasy into reality......reality as we know it...is boring......everything she does is an outcry of exaggeration which may be carefully planned....this exaggeration, this behaviour is the promise of fantasy,absent in reality, draws ppl in...

i was once a critic...............for being too easy.....but by playing innocence......you can get out of any situation................just like what Sai said in 'Naruto', "A smile can help you out of any difficult situations."

Just as love seem like magic, it is not.....its more like a magic trick......which realistically, is not magic....when we watch david blane perform his magic tricks, we are swayed into believeing it is true, even when its not...even when we have doubts....but we have already been tricked by the magic trick, we can't see how the magic is done.....only way of knowing, is not to fall into the trick in the first place....after falling into it, you can't tell it apart, whether its sincere or not, real or fake.............

which leads me to the next point, ppl say i'm emo, but from what i hear of others...the inverse is more likely true...such glorified perceptions of love..............nothing i say, if explicit and direct, can change it............persuasion is a hard tool to yield......i can only listen.........

Thought of the week: God gave us two ears and one mouth so that we listen to others twice as much as we speak...........

trying to abide by this rule for a few months now................unfortunately its a rule no one follows....perhaps besides speaking more than we listen to others, we also listen more to ourselves and our own thoughts.......this along with being selfconcious like i talked about so much in previous posts......i'm aware of it when i do so.........this is the next step in helping myself............directing that attention outward instead of inward...........................


This new year's eve will be the worst one yet.............i will be working....i thought it would be a great job....turns out, nothing is at good as it looks...........to reiterate my point, fantasy can serve all kinds of purposes including making shit look good....however, no one can escape from reality, well, maybe you can hide... 'No Smint, No Kiss'.......thats the advertisers message.....but when you have Smint, you won't necessarily have a kiss.......talked about this before as well...won't waste time on it again.............

Basically, I'm stuck in an underpass for 7 hours, from 6 pm to 1 am from newyear's eve till past new year......of the 20 locations, i have to get the very single one that is in an underpass.......where no one passes by.............and being right under where all the fireworks are happening.....i won't get to see a shit....ppl will be counting down, i'll be isolated in that stupid underpass.........for 7 dollars an hour...

I'll be working around raffles and cityhall area.....near esplanade and fullerton.....for this company doing market research on fireworks........on new year's eve.....the bad news is......i won't be on the ground, i'll be UNDERGROUND......i can't see fireworks....worse, i can't see anyone.....from 6pm to 1am!!!! i thought heaven is playing tricks on me.....he is picking on me....i'll be all alone.....and the employer says you can listen to mp3 while working..........i have no mp3.....i've never thought of a good use of the mp3 player, except situations like the one i'm in now.......

i'll be in the underpass....standing up for 7 hours......counting the no. of ppl who walk pass me from one direction......and since it is so out of the way near raffles mrt....far from the crowd at esplanade.....i'll be totally bored.... Its this stupid underpass leading to One Marina Boulevard and One Raffles Quay, (where the fuck?!).....supposedly, if you walk from esplanade along the bridge to fullerton, and keep straight, you're suppose to reach this ulu underpass.... near raffles place mrt i suppose?

i can't see shit from down here.....everyone else gets to see fireworks!......omg.......this is how i'll spend the last few hours of 2007 and the first hour of 2008.....away from all my friends......i should watch 'I am Legend' to find out how Will Smith would cope with being alone and all..........

how i wish at least i have a dog(or cat?) with me like Will Smith had...

well, fireworks typically brings ppl out of their homes and into town......it is the reason why the goverment bothers spending millions of dollars on the fireworks.......ppl have to pay for public transport......and parking fees if you're parking your car.........this coupled with the multiplier effect....when you're out, you're bound to get thirsty or hungry, and you spend some money here and there.......this also increase the likelihood of ppl shopping, thus increases the no. of ppl shopping..........again, referring to chemistry, there is increase in no. of effective collisions.....all this more than recoup the losses by the goverment for spending it on fireworks.....since there is gst tagged on everysingle thing.......this market research that i'm helping to do, probably helps them estimate the amt of money that could be earned from having fireworks, and the amt they can spend on fireworks.....

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*CLosing of red curtains and the green monster comes out...*
"Mummy! Its Over!"