Thoughts of a 'Man'

its been a long time since i posted something......was exactly last week rite...hmm......time passed quickly especially when its been so stale recently...the a lvls..oh man......never in my life have i thought so much about what i wanna do for the rest of my life...the a lvls really determines what you do in future, esp if you aspire to be a doctor or lawyer...........if i could enter one of these professions i surely would, but i don't think i'll be able to handle the stress as a doctor or lawyer, if i can't even swift through my studies without hassle or stress........doctor, study till you're 30 before you can begin your career.....what happens then during 20-30, well its not a big deal if you know your calling in life is to be a doctor, to save lives, esp those living in poverty.....i always had the idea that a doctor would want to go to africa and save all those ppl........if its your calling...good....

i mean....ppl think that when your in your 20s, you would be living the high life, prowling clubs or just while life away with friends......but when you're in your 20s, its really the period in your life when the rat race is most intense.....after graduation....you'll working your way up, climbing the coporate ladder, and hopefully earn lots of money......

its whats been going through my mind recently,........no one thinks about it really until one actually reaches the crossroads, ok ppl like me at least.....i guess there are ppl already corusing towards their goals in life since primary school..........the course that i'll end up in with the grades i'll be getting in my a lvls....hopefully i'll get into a course that i want...if not i'll most probably retake my a lvls......

and i can't seem to decide what i want to do in life............i haven't had any workshadowing experience that some got to go through....most of us don't even know the things that we'll be learning in a university course will be like, and some already know what they want to do....i haven't worked part-time.........the experience i have of life as an adult is probably through the television...i guess no one will know what they're going to go through until they're going through it.............so i guess i just want to earn lots of money......until i can decide what i want to do in life............change the world perhaps? or just pursue the luxuries and vices........*yawn*......

i think its good i seriously considering my 'destiny' if i'm not just going to die young.........i think many ppl don't really look that far ahead either.....we just do whats there for us to do...whats expected, whats required......not all doctors or lawyers aspired to be one from a young age......they probably just ended up there too.......of course, they have cleared their examinations
with or without hardwork.........

i just want lots of money..........if only i was a genius at something, a highly talented teenage hacker, gamer, musician or even physicist or something....

well, and if i don't stand up and do something about it, like organise my life or something, i probably won't be earning lots of money when i'm at my 30s.!....been taking it all too easy all this while........