Thoughts of a 'Man'

woke up at 12 pm today....was wondering how i was going to spend my day....i was really bored the past few days, and thought that today, i was going to exploit it as much as i can before the new week starts and i'll have to start working like a machine with not time for thoughts and reflections or imagination or any personal time like that...............really had the desire today to stay at home, to gain deeper insights about things....... was wondering what i was going to do......i wanted to watch as many films as i can......and to think of something worthy to write in this blog.....anyway, you might not understand and see the perspective of what i'm saying following from here, but read it anyway.....i may be deep or surface, i don't know..

anyway, i'm gonna talk about relationships, influence, power, or manipulation that ppl have over one another whether you realise it or not......

when i flipped the life! newspapers for the tv synopses at exactly 12 pm when i got out of bed, i saw the show that was airing was 'Trading Spouses'.......this is a reality series about 2 families having to trade their wives....and watching the drama that enfolds.....

sometimes i thought this show was all scripted.....its hard to believe so much drama could happen, but it also really really really complicated and realistic, so i don't know whether its real.......they always manage to find families that behaves exactly differently....families from different social classes, backgrounds......it always involves a family which is those 'can't be bothered' types, and a family that is really sucessful........but always, all families have their issues..... 'Trading Spouses' is like a mixture of 'supernanny' this tv show in china that switched the lives of a farm boy with that of a rich spoilt brat..(in china, there are both rural and urban areas, well you know, in econs, its the high unequal distribution of wealth..they are either really rich or really poor, indonesia also...)......the moral of these stories was always to establish good relationships(supernanny), and appreciate what you have(that china tv show).....in 'trading spouses', its both...

let me digress a little, the farm boy who went to live in the city, became exposed to the world of luxury, and swore to one day grab hold of it in life.....which may be good or bad, since he may start hating his present life now, this may overwhelm him or he may never get what he wants. the farm boy, was touched by the lives that the poor, and when the poor farmer overlooking his stay in the farm, gave up his entire life's savings for the spoilt brat to get a tour of the yellow river....the spoilt brat realised this and broke down in tears.......life changing experiences for both of them, but the spoilt brat had more to learn.....

well, supernanny, needs no introduction....you better have watched it, cos its no longer showing in arts central.........its always the parents' fault.....

'Trading Spouses' is more interesting...i rmb a few years ago, i watched a little of it, during 'primetime'(around 7pm to 10pm).......it showed a present hippie family....but thats all i paid attention to when i watched it a few years ago.......they had nothing in the house, except maybe for a refrigerator and telephone...they had no tv,couch, beds, no living accesses(excesses?)...in a small house with lots of people....they had a back yard, which a tent was pitched and they probably hang out there singing, sharing poems, meditate or close their eyes and feel nature and frequencies of ultra and supersonic sound.......

anyway, i'm not going into what actually happens, cos its much too long......the gist of it is, the sucessful conceited family is always so full of themselves...they always think that everybody loves them, they have no problems, everything is functioning well...blah blah blah, everything is well....usually really rich...but the wife from the fucked up family with problems usually really poor, will go in and find that everything is so peaceful and free of stress initially......but they'll soon realise that everything is so surface and many things are left unspoken....things are avoided and neglected, and problems are all covered up, not being brought to the attention of everyone, because the sucessful conceited family is always too comfortable to want to address these problems..they are always in self-denial...they rather accept that such problems never existed, so that they could go on living their 'happy' lives.....well, it really is just another form of isolation, (watch 'the village', by Night shylakamunsomething, the sixth sense director)....
one example, the traded spouse finds the daughter of the family having accoplished many things that one would dream of having their own daughters do....and she is only 15, she travelled the world, read many books, writes many books, is worldly in her views, good grades, enjoys 'art', the parents give her this sheltered and overacheiving upbringing..........but she is a loner in school.....no one likes her....she is in denial saying that she doesn't need friends and that she is close with her family....she is mature in the mind, but emotionally she is like a kid, having no social skills.....the traded spouse believes that every girl should be exposed to social life and all, have a normal upbringing.....she later realises that the parents actually planned it, putting her in girls school and stuff, being really restrictive but without the daughter actually knowing, but unconsciously she knows.....when the traded spouse purposely brought it up, and somehow made a 'confrontation' between the daughter and father....by first touching up on a light hearted issue such as dating......without their notice, it slowly revealed the restrictive father, and the daughter dying to get out.......the father would say something like, i feel it is not time for her to make such decisions, not ready and stuff............you get the point.....

the can't be bothered family also has their problems...and always, its the father who instead of playing the father role, plays the friend and good guy to his children....the father would always practise favouritism to the oldest son who gets all the attention simply because he enjoys doing the same things while neglecting the younger children or daughter......the traded spouse from a successful family would always come in, awkward situations will happen, and will think that she can solve the problem(believeing that her own life is what everyone should be living, imposing her life on others)...the family knows this, and don't gives a shit.....they know that the traded spouse is hypocritic and fake...so they always just play along unwillingly, but her plans will always fail because its so stupid.....like playing icebreakers and stuff, planning 'wholesome family fun' activities....and motivational camps....hahahahahah.... well, the problem in these families are always the inability to express their love for one another, everyone feels neglected and everyone is emo....everyone will say they don't give a shit.......

in addition, the spouse from the unappreciated family will always be immensely well-liked because she finally gets a chance to express her warmth and love and be returned the pleasure where usually noone actually gives a shit.......and the conceited mother will always realise that she has simply been talking too much..she should shut up and hold back, that no one really gives recognition about her accomplishments....and learn to socialise more and accomodate others...

i always never get to watch the concluding episode, because in the next episode, they actually show that the families actually solve their problems...well some don't actually....maybe to show that its realistic, and to cover up the script's failure for a suitable resolution if it was scripted....


anyway, the film that screened at 1pm on ch5, 'White Oleander' gave me deeper insight on some things.....it was showed at least twice this year.......the last time i missed a big part of it and decided to miss the whole thing... Today, finally got to watch it.......i was searching the internet for the script because its addresses so many things......they way it was filmed and stuff....i'm not really and artist and stuff, so i can only appreciate with the inability to express myself properly....but scripts to films are like lyrics to songs.....you really want to know what it says if you happen to miss it...

The mother, played by michelle phieffer, is an artist, and is an obsessive seductress who loves playing games and making guys want her.......she is really good with seducing and stuff, not only guys, but with women...she knows the deepest desires of humans, and know how to insinuate and mask what she wants...she has a large influence over everybody she meets, and get what she wants simply out of manipulating ppl.....but it is not without risk, as tampering with love, is volatile...it is like playing with bombs even if you're an expert, a bomb expert always dies in a bomb accident(like in 'Munich', where the guy larry? or something the french informant who gives info on the hits had said).......she is the strong independent woman, who knows how to get her man...."Never allow a man to stay, never apologise....."...all these only makes a guy desire her more...through keeping her distance...she also knows how to manipulate ppl and their temperaments....she always get what she wants by making ppl think that they are giving in by their own choice...its hard to explain, so i will not....she will make others be interested in her, so that she can exploit them...she introduces ideas that would flood the victims head through insinsuation without the victim realising it.......oh i'm making it sound like a thriller.............anyway, she failed on 2 occasions....she fell in love with a man and bore a child(which actually is the main character in the movie)......and 2nd mistake was she committed a crime of passion....usually she is the one manipulative..but when she realises that this man no.2 was only playing around, she got jealous, or unappreciated and killed him for not desiring her enough, or not being loved......

got these quotes from "http://community.livejournal.com/quotes/4819168.html"

"Now I wished she’d never broken any of her rules(i wrote above, never allow a man.....). I understood why she held to them so hard. Once you broke the first one(giving in and falling in love), they all broke, one by one, like firecrackers exploding in your face in a parking lot on the Fourth of July."

“Isn’t it funny. I’m enjoying my hatred so much more than I ever enjoyed love. Love is temperamental. Tiring. It makes demands. Love uses you. Changes its mind. But hatred, now. That’s something you can sue. Sculpt. Wield. It’s hard or soft, however you need it. Love humiliates you, but hatred cradles you.”

"If evil means to be self-motivated, to be the center of one’s own universe, to live on one’s own terms, then every artist, every thinker, every original mind, is evil. Because we dare to look through our own eyes rather than mouth clichés lent us from the so-called Fathers…three cheers for Eve." something about not raising the daughter by herself, not some bible...blah blah...raised to think for yourself....then the daughter would say something like, you only raised me to think like you....

"Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way."

anyway, there is so much....to say.........i shall stop here..can't believe its 5 o clock now..............