Thoughts of a 'Man'

As humans, i think we have or think we have this ability to constantly try to look at things from a different perspective away from our selfish judgement........maybe for the purpose of just to be objective...

All humans saw things in 3 dimensions, length width height....besides that, we only saw 4 main directions, north east south west.....or if you consider north-east, south-west..etc to be among the directions, we have 8...........then we starting placing ourselves in another person's shoes.....

Galileo theory of relativity.......the relativity we learnt in secondary school..... we can now see things in another person's perspective....... With this, i guess we could see things from bird's eye view and all......besides the 8 directions, we have up and down.........put ourselves in a bird, and we just imagine how it feels to have more options then simply moving forward or backward....

Then came einstein and quantum mechanics, highly spontaneous ways of seeing the universe in different ways......rumoured that einstein could see things in fourth dimension, with time as being measured as a dimension along with space..(i think if we bothered to read the theory, i'm sure most of us can see the fourth dimension...)........also, he placed himself in the shoes of a photon, and then we can see things beyond what we can expect......cos our eyes only 'see' when light enters our eyes......time may be moving faster than we think it is, because the clock could be ticking much faster than when the light bounces of its surface to reach our eyes....or we become invisible when we travel at the speed of light, cos no light reaches our eyes..

Well, then there was the matrix, bullet-time was one of the best effects that was ever invented today.......... it allows us to move everywhere and see everything at different angles while nothing changes as if time stopped to allow us to do that.........It was done by placing many cameras around the scene to be filmed 'turned on' at the same time, filming simultaneously.....then the images of all the different cameras/angles from a single moment is joined together and played one after another.........not only can you acheive bullet-time...i think other movies later use this technique to simulate time freezing, and you can probably see rain drops floating in mid air(but you can always use computers though)....


now i wonder why ppl go thru so much trouble to view different perspectives....to explore or gain the truth?..... for me, its also about making a decision and the right decision.......right now i'm just thinking about it day and night for about 2 months i guess?

this is how decisions are made, cause-effect, cost-benefit, happy or not?..etc....whatever you want to use to measure....if you use any of the measures seperately, you'll will always always find them to disagree with one another.....i tried to combine or devise something.....which is probably related to what i was explaining above, viewing things from many perspectives(which, well not that original, we're constantly doing it...) to make a right decision..........being the indecisive fickle minded person that i am.....even all these will fail if we do not simply have the guts to push the button........

many ppl know, i take forever to choose something to eat in school, take forever to look at a menu(reading every single ingredient that is used in every single dish to decide which gives a greater flavour and taste, so that i'll buy it...lol).........and after reading thru everything, my decision doesn't even relate to whether which ingredients are best and which taste the best...i will always end up choosing something which i've never tried before......so i could have just skipped the stupid part in front of scrolling to look at everything..... its like painting many mental pictures of yourself tasting each and every dish and imagining how i would like it, or the pleasure i would gain from it,.........and in the end all these mental pictures aren't going to be vivid or even close to what would have happened in reality if we chose it.....so no matter how much one will consider, it is almost impossible to make the best choice out of purely contemplating, its more like a lucky draw really....

my recent entries, are really hollow and empty now that i'm putting myself in the shoes of a much higher and englightened being, version of myself.......

i keep going round and round and round and round and round and round in circles of how it would matter, will not matter, matter, does not matter, matter, won't matter, matter ,wouldn't matter.........how i've wasted my time thinking and thinking and just thinking, all of it to not much of use..........

it went something like......
"i gotta have it, since this would make me happy right here, right now.."...being caught in the heat of the moment, i would tell myself later i was just too excited over nothing.....
then i would try to put myself in the shoes of a third person....(or second)"its not important to you, get your priorities right..results more important"........
then i would place myself in the 'future' me..."you wouldn't even give a damn about whatever happens now...it wouldn't matter or change your life in the slightest bit"...
then in the 'alternate reality' me...."if i don't do this, i probably wouldn't regret so much as that it will destroy my entire life. However, if things were to happen the way i wanted, things would have been different"
then in the 'wiser alternate reality + future' me.."would i have been happy if things were different.....

my mind stops here, i don't think of anyway...greater than the future to make my decision...but it will not stop processing other ways to make myself feel better..."i'll let nature decide, whatever will happen, will happen...if she's yours, she's yours..." or
"you're negligible to the entire exististence of the human race and the universe........everything that happens is out of pure randomness"

some times in between all of those mentioned above, i will even go into placing myself in her shoes.........."would i choose 'me' if i was anybody else"....what makes me different, what makes me unqiue....its really just about value-addedness and quality right?..so i better go into R&D.....haha....more exercise, more study, more reading, more music, more arrogant, smell nicer, talk more, talk less, gain weight, lose weight, long hair, short hair, say this, say that, pretend to care, pretend not to care, hot, cold........whatever makes a girl tick.............then then then, after analysing between all of this, like ordering food, it wouldn't even matter.........i'll just try to be myself.....if she likes me, she will like me for who i am, if not, nothing i do will be sincere or genuine........

Now i'm looking back at all of this and telling myself, i'm just wasting my time....... i've got no good advice to myself, even though there are plenty of voices giving me quotes and telling me what i should do, how i should live my life, and none stands out from the other.......even the tone, perspective, of this cynic 'me' that is expressing itself now, will not be ranked higher than all the other voices in my head..just because i'm speaking in this voice now.......

wah......just more circles, and i'm right back at the start..................4 rights makes a full turn........
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ok now i will just stop blogging for a while now, since its going to be more crap and crap that really won't mean anything, even if it was theory of special relativity, it still doesn't matter, it will not shape the universe.........and my prelims are just a day away...........i will write something if its something worth recording and not another boring rant..........