Thoughts of a 'Man'

I hope all of you reading this would understand, this is like the only place i have left to be who i truly am..........and again, i fall prey to my inner demons.....the enemy is myself......the last time i thought about the regrets that i had in life, and i just couldn't think of any....well, this is it.....i regret having such problems of self-esteem.......i wonder if everyone has this problem, well but mine is a huge problem........ i hope ppl will feel for me when they begin reading this... At the same time i really hope no one gets to read this.............

where should i start, in the train i had so many negativity running thru my nerves i could had stand straight.......of course, all the time before that during and after that......negativity is still in me....pessismistic this person that i am.........each time i think i about it, i just tell myself to walk away, i cannot let her see me in such a pathetic state...even i'm irritated at myself, how can anyone else not be....i wonder when i walk on the streets all the time, if i induce in ppl the urge to throw a punch at my face.............sigh........these self-esteem issues......these issues........

when i was sec1, my art teacher told me not to kill myself like kurt cobain.....hahaha......of course i would not, but even then, maybe because of puberty, i'm an emo person............but i want to change........

"And then the lover,Sighing like furnace, with a woeful balladMade to his mistress' eyebrow."

part of a poem by william shakesphere...............he talks about the adolescent years, in which every teenager will never cease to whine...................

and "Here I am, inspired to write only because I'm pissed off. "


she deserves someone better, someone who is stable, someone who has no issues, someone with security.....................and i guess that she probably found someone.......that someone is not me, or else she'll suffer......

last time, someone told me that i was hard to get along...........and i guess she was right too, even if it may just be an excuse........

not just that, everybody should just stay clear of me.............I have to change...........

and i should start by being enthusiastic right............HAHAHAHA.............like there is anything to look forward to now..........
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ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..................................how can i get this out..........it hurts like hell................