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Something inside has died
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please don't judge me.....read my posts and just pass it off......i need somewhere to pour my thoughts...
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Should i should i not.......
Thats been a question i've been asking myself again and again.......whenever i'm not studying, at home, and facing the computer.........
Good thing i wasn't at home today most of the time to ask myself this question...
Its so weird, it feels comfortable to be studying, i wonder why....its always so hard to beg myself to just sit on the chair for 20 mins....but today, i studied reaaaallly loooooooong......even though its drudgery....really was progressing very slowly.....but think it was worth it, though not worth the time........i think i really have to speed up on my workload, if i want to make it....
whenever i'm not studying,i just think of studying and that other thing i'm trying to put as far away as possible for now........
Tomorrow, i'm finally going to watch ratatouille(not sure how to spell).....in the morning of course.....meeting up with some of secondary school friends......then rush to study after that....still wondering if i should get anything.....well it doesn't matter if i do, cos it would just be something thats piled onto a heap of other somethings.....and since its impossible to exchange it with what i really want(you can't buy anything thats intangible, of course la, for everything else theres mastercard...-_-"), it just means i'm buying for the sake of buying or again out of good intent which is piled onto a heap of good intents.............so in conclusion, i'm not out to buy anything, maybe except my own shoes(which i'm searching for for nearly 2 years) or something that i like, unless destiny confronts me with something that i think she'll like.............then again, that probability is so so so so so so oh so so so so small.........
So i should just be looking forward to studying tmr, and every other day rite?!.............
HAPPY STUDY DAY!.....
------------------------------------------
p.s. i'm starting to wonder if i'll begin to freak ppl out with this effort of not being emo.......look at how this entry sounds.... it sounds TOTALLY(americanized AC girls slang) like a man that's gay(meaning happy) fluttering(flapping its hands to imitate a butterfly, and hopping on one foot to lift himself higher..) about the streets proclaming that his happy and that everyone should be happy like him.....on drugs ah, like a hippie....'psychotic'......
Good thing i wasn't at home today most of the time to ask myself this question...
Its so weird, it feels comfortable to be studying, i wonder why....its always so hard to beg myself to just sit on the chair for 20 mins....but today, i studied reaaaallly loooooooong......even though its drudgery....really was progressing very slowly.....but think it was worth it, though not worth the time........i think i really have to speed up on my workload, if i want to make it....
whenever i'm not studying,i just think of studying and that other thing i'm trying to put as far away as possible for now........
Tomorrow, i'm finally going to watch ratatouille(not sure how to spell).....in the morning of course.....meeting up with some of secondary school friends......then rush to study after that....still wondering if i should get anything.....well it doesn't matter if i do, cos it would just be something thats piled onto a heap of other somethings.....and since its impossible to exchange it with what i really want(you can't buy anything thats intangible, of course la, for everything else theres mastercard...-_-"), it just means i'm buying for the sake of buying or again out of good intent which is piled onto a heap of good intents.............so in conclusion, i'm not out to buy anything, maybe except my own shoes(which i'm searching for for nearly 2 years) or something that i like, unless destiny confronts me with something that i think she'll like.............then again, that probability is so so so so so so oh so so so so small.........
So i should just be looking forward to studying tmr, and every other day rite?!.............
HAPPY STUDY DAY!.....
------------------------------------------
p.s. i'm starting to wonder if i'll begin to freak ppl out with this effort of not being emo.......look at how this entry sounds.... it sounds TOTALLY(americanized AC girls slang) like a man that's gay(meaning happy) fluttering(flapping its hands to imitate a butterfly, and hopping on one foot to lift himself higher..) about the streets proclaming that his happy and that everyone should be happy like him.....on drugs ah, like a hippie....'psychotic'......
