Thoughts of a 'Man'

how old till i can buy my own place to live....till how long must i wait before my life begin to grow.......i've been hoping for the past 10 years.................it is so irritating....something you can't get rid off.........you just have to tolerate..........i know its wrong wrong wrong to hate your parents and want them to die and all..........................argh..........................their minds are so puny and enclosed its so hard for them to even sense anything................senile...........................................

its useless whining here.........i've told so many ppl about it.................how i hate my parents so much.........i felt that i've made so much sacrifices for them, keeping a look out for them because they are so old....and i know they always make the wrong choices, overlook important details............i never ask of them for anything.................never ask them to buy anything for me like ipods, handphones, playstations, computers, storybooks, clothes, musical instruments.....and they are like irritating pests, saying i'm not like other kids who always study......fuck them and their narrow perception....how many ppl do they know.............just because i failed my tests, and suddenly its emergency.......................i fail stupid tests all the time..........................

they keep distrupting my string of thoughts.................................ah.....it would be hard to explain................in the eyes of everyone out there, it is such trivial matters that i am whining about that i'm sparring all the details.........................................

i have lots hate letters dated back to when even before i entered primary school..............my sis stumbled upon one of them and passed it to me...

it was stapled with over 20 staples and is not rusty..........

25 aug 99. Do not open!!! until i am an adult.........(can't believe i actually wanted to remind myself how much i hated them....lol)
*main bulk text missing* (i can't read the handwriting i had when i was pri 4, it was so messy, semi cursive, and i really can't read it.........even when it occupied 2 lines on the foolscap.........)

(this i can read, occupied 4 lines, so its big enough).....She is a bitch!!! I hate her very much!!! Die...(drawing of gun and stick person)....

................................................................back to life........i can't live constantly in escape...............when i suceed under all this negative pressure, it is when it all becomes sweet, even if it means i have to age earlier...........................................