Thoughts of a 'Man'

well, yeah.....i know, i'm not exactly a jack of all trades, but i'm a master of none...shall not go on about how lousy at anything that i do...i don't know why, but all the time, i get just good enough for something and then i stop getting better....

anyway, went jamming with the guys again....we saw ronin again...2nd and a half time...well whatever...anyway, they didn't say hi or anything, well, they were leaving already...ah...

anyway, the song this time, i admit was one of the songs i never thought the band would actually begin on playing it....because its quite heavy metal, but from not a quite heavy metal band...(excuse me for speaking strangely today, i don't feel well).....the first time in almost 1 and 4/5 years? at the studio, we get to use the best equipment in the studio....chung used a tube amp...forgot the brand, wow....the sound is impressive....over the top....my amp, was the best amp i have ever used too...some really big marshall amp, jimi hendrix uses it a lot i guess....not tube amp, but very good too....janson used his best bass amplifier ever also...well we all used the best stuff....and just nice we brought our guitars and bass along this time...i'm still quite a newbie at guitar, though i've been playing for quite sometime now...learnt how to use the bent stick at the side of the guitar......changes the pitch of the note, as in it becomes lower...i guess...don't ask me...anyway......the sound today was great...bry drums was on on on on form....chung guitar also...and today...janson has improved tremendously.....which makes this band really really realy good already...except me...my vocals sucks...my rhythm sucks....i fucking can't play the guitar, i tell myself....

i just kind of lost interest halfway, the sound today was very good...but everyone's is just too good, someday...i just gonna get kicked out....i'm not envious or anything, i'm just not confident of myself anymore....janson, is really really good now.....can manage bass solos and complicated riffs...(everything i say has no concern to 'punk' rock whatsoever...)....just incase ppl are trying to measure my 'good'......

i am really really behind time with homework again.......i was really really behind time...then i made up some lost time...thus being just behind time...now i'm back to being really behind time..didn't touch books for fri sat and sun....i took a good enough break...guess i'll face the week with half of me again....

kind of really involved in everything......................don't feel lonely or anything, just that i'll face all this crap alone..........................................................................wah...save me la.....