Thoughts of a 'Man'

being evil and powerful is great....but even that, it can't help you control you life....life is really plain and bleak rite now...its good to have friends around, when you are this bored...lol..i want to train my hockey so badly...i was hitting the ball around at home....it got the nieghbours under my floor pissed....lol...they have a baby and all...i'm so crap, i made so much noise i didn't let the baby sleep..

'I hit the ball with my hockey stick(lol)
That got the baby pissed and he couldn't sleep.
The neighbours came up to negotiate,
and i guess its time i have to stop.'

wah..haha....quite lame...anyway, going to watch hockey match later....SRC vs CSC....have to learn and watch tactics....have to rush my books too...and finish enough by 6 to justify watching the match....worry that my muscle pull is going to stop me from training for another week...sigh...its so anti climatic, but i guess i still have a long time.....

also, i've gone back to watching her from far again...well, its probably what i'll be doing for the whole year, since this seems the best of situation possible....shes happy or somehow getting back up, i don't see anything that i can do to help.....

if life is short, well it is really short from my perspective....it doesn't really matter if i don't do what i want before it ends...coz after all, it makes no difference....

ok, back to hockey...i'm addicted...well like coach says...it doesn't matter if you win or lose...just have fun..thats the spirit he wanted....well, heard this many times from ppl, and i guess this is what you should aim to acheive in everything you do in life...just have fun...doesn't matter what you gain out of it... Jay Adams, zboys, commented that it was just fun skating, but once it became a competition, it just got too serious.... Kurt Cobain of Nirvana, music was part of his life, not necessarily a passion, but when record labels sold their albums, putting pressure on them to make money....it just wasn't fun anymore...On his interviews...he always said 'his songs were for fun'...he even went to the expense of asking his 'fans' not to buy his album, Bleach.....to prevent Nirvana from being mainstream music, critisicing his 'fans' for being blind followers...'In Bloom'....Look at Guns 'N' Roses, well there wouldn't be a break up if it wasn't because of the pressure....

People's lives are ruined when things they enjoy become a chore............well, whatever makes me happy and of course, whatever makes you happy, i'll stay out of it is the sacrifice i'm willing to make....

no one will read this...if there are readers....assume anyhow and what you want out of it...i don't know..

Oh yah...being botak isn't all that bad...it is convienient....it isn't 'cool' like you clouded 'punks'....but being botak, THIS IS PUNK....lol..it isn't really nice....but it just natural that ppl judge, and i can don't care and just be arrogant..lol..

oh yeah....the PRC scholars are cool....they experienced so much so little ppl have the chance to..so exclusive...wish i could have led a life like that, doesn't matter if i must study 24 hrs nonstop, 7 days a week..i'll do anything for non-conformity and anti-society...maybe i grew up in Singapore thats why...