Thoughts of a 'Man'

Sigh...have sleepless nights over something so small and stupid.....just can't make a damn decision too.....its like the meter keeps flauctuating between 'yes i should' and 'no i should not'........and so it goes...right now, it is at the 'no i should not' an hour ago, it was 'yes'...two hr before that it was 'no'.....3 hrs before that it was 'yes' and 4 hrs before that it was 'no'....10 mins before that it was 'yes'......

its nothing really....its a problem of choosing between 'i should, because its right' or 'no, it'll give ppl the wrong idea, and that well, i'm suppose to not give a damn anyway'.....................by looking at this...you probably would think i'm some shit pathetic fool, that i should go ahead and do the right thing....ah,....its just hard....

the point is, whatever i do, it doesn't matter to the other party........(i just want to curse at this pt...)......!@%&&!%#@&@^%#

so i guess i let this pass....it'll probably be just another annoying grain of sand in my life that never fails to get me down....the point goes back to, 'the possibility of it being a milestone' but just my stupidity....

k...shall quit whining bout this too....its wasting time...we all have some real shitty problems eh...

the very problems, just happens to be the solution to face this cruel world...

ah for a second i feel calmed...

this is one big shitty post.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!