Thoughts of a 'Man'

i'm feel so like shit, its so boring...nah..but enough complaining...feeling for a person for such a long time....but i guess a previous experienced help me to let go much easily now...why did i misunderstood in the first place...there were so many before me, they 'failed' (no better word)....so i guess i've failed, and so will others in future......she must really feel sick..lol... hope those guys don't ruin her too bad...sigh..

guess i have to accept another fact in life that ppl just come and go....even if they made a big impact or so....they will be gone someday, if not now, in future....

anyway..into another matter,..not sure whats wrong with me...i guess absence not only makes the heart grow fonder, but i kind of realise all that she has done for me...even if she did not do it on purpose, how she behaved has helped me i guess....and all the time i thought she being cold and everything was a torture to me then...but i guess, it helped made everything simple...instead of complicating things i guess....not sure, but i think she hasn't complaint to many...which is something i should be grateful for, for the things that i have done....sigh...she has a heart of gold, and i regret for not beliving in what could have changed my life...'her'....and now i've lost all guts to even face her, let alone talk to her...don't know whats going on with her either...i kind of hoped we could start over(getting to know each other and all, friends...) since dec, but that never happened....and kind of made it even worse again and again....wonder if she still does dislike me or anything...

whatever.....i guess everything is out of the way now...i have nothing bother my 'pathetic' mind anymore...studies.....OHhhhhhARGHh......another bother....